If you read my blog, you know I have been dealing with a swinging pendulum rooted in unknowns brought from hepatitis C and liver disease. The original Matt liver finally became less functional. Hepatitis C marched forward, and eventually led to a liver transplant in 2008. Thank you dear sister, for that live donor gift.
Hepatitis C stayed with me post-transplant though, and continued to aggressively scar my new liver. This live donor liver is already cirrhotic after 7 years. I’ve done a lot of inner searching to heal myself as best I could through this decade. I hope some of my experience can offer you some help in dealing with yours.
Many of you have gone through a version of setbacks. You all have different ways to deal with the changes and unknown.
At its most basic level, I find strength and degrees of healing through healthy nutrition; getting moderate, or whatever is comfortable, exercise; mixing eastern and western medical systems and practices; practicing consistent yoga and meditation: doing things I love, even if I do them differently than in the past.
I have been sharing a weekly update this season of my experience with new hepatitis C medicines. At the onset, 24 weeks seemed pretty long, and it flew by for a while, but over the past two months the walls began to crumble, and once they did the side effects came hard and fast.
Glory Be! There are only 5 days left. And it appears the Harvoni and ribavirin treatment has worked.
Unknowns, though, are still everywhere. What does this potential eradication of hep C mean? Will I relapse in the 3-month post treatment, waiting period? How will these cirrhotic liver function without hep C present?
My over thinking/worrying mind keeps yapping in my ear, but I can turn aside from it now. It took some time, but for me I now know ways to find peace despite the challenges.
During this long episode, I managed to usually not get depressed or become listless. My cornerstones of self-healing, nutrition, yoga and mediation, exercise in the water or outdoors, had to change, which usually meant cutting back. But I accept the new now, and that has held me fast.
It’s easy to fall into the pit of despair. But, through positive self-healing, if you can reach down deep enough, you can find the will to just carry on.
I see more now, know more about me, than I did before this battle began. My mediation has led me to believe that these things that assault our bodies do not assault the real deepest inner self. Even our feelings, and even our thoughts do not define us.
The real self is unassailable, somewhat hidden in this culture, but accessible. It is Spirit. The body ages or is harmed but the Spirit is unchanged. That can be comforting.
Using your inner wisdom, think about what you want from your life, why you are here. I, and maybe you are living with unknowns. What will happen is impossible to know, but what is now, the exact moment, is here for us to be with, to appreciate and connect to something bigger.
Try to not let the Unknown rule you, but be in this moment, learn from it, and help the body become more vibrant, and well. That works for me anyway. I hope some version of this works for you too.
Anything is Possible,
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