Karen Hoyt is a blogger who has a story about hepatitis C, cirrhosis, end-stage liver disease, liver cancer, and liver transplantation. This excerpt first appeared on Karen’s I Help C blog.

I see it all the time. So many people are locked inside their own head, and heart, – alone – instead of celebrating love. “Love hurts,” they say. “I can’t go through it again.” And so, many times, the need for connection its buried. There are several possible motives when avoiding love. Some of them seem valid. See if you can find yourself in one of these. Then, take some steps to turn the love back on in your life!

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

It’s all about me – We might reason that love requires too much self sacrifice. So we hang onto our “self” and all of our quirks. “I’ve always been this way and they can learn to live with it”, are some famous last words spoken in the lonely hearts club. The solution here is to take care of yourself first. Then, from your self loving place, you have an abundance to give out. What makes love great is meeting someone else’s needs while getting your own love buttons turned on at the same time.

I’m damaged goods – If we are too broken hearted, it’s easy to put off getting out there again. We want to avoid appearing desperate or needy. The only problem with that is….. by sitting on those lonely feelings for too long, we risk having them boil over at an inconvenient time. For example, after spending too much time alone, we try to start a love connection. We may end up jumping into an unhealthy relationship with the first person that comes along. Whoa Nelly. They might end up having some scary problems.

I seem to pick the wrong person – If you find yourself pursuing the wrong type of people repeatedly, go back to the first motive. If you are in the process of becoming your highest self, you will attract the same kind of person. If you are stuck in the past, you may attract someone who is doing the exact same thing. This limits your ability to grow together in truth. Looking inside to your own personal growth is the secret to finding the right lover.

I don’t know what I want in a partner – Be careful, this one sounds like an open minded person. Needless to say, if you aren’t sure what you need, you might not have strong boundaries. This happens when you have been neglected for too long. If your love meter is way down, it is easy to lower your standards as well. You can find yourself locked into a relationship that is more a habit than healthy love.

Click here to read the rest of this blog and find out how to bring back that loving feeling.